Today I am once again reminded about the stark contrasts of life on the ship. Here the highs are higher and the lows are lower. On an almost daily basis you are confronted with loss and disappointment for those patients we are unable to help, or who get a devastating diagnosis, countered with seeing absolute miracles taking place in patient’s lives, and hope being restored. Today I had to say good bye to a little boy that I’ve known and cared for at various times over the past 2 years.
His legs are now straight, he’s walking very well without his crutches and casts, and tomorrow he travels home to his village. I speak some of his language and have developed a fond relationship with him. He has a cheeky grin that fills his whole face, he loves to sneak up on you and tickle you, and has unstoppable energy. He calls me ‘Padi’ which means ‘friend.’
It seems like piece of my heart is now missing... but at the same time I feel that my heart is growing to make room for the dozens of other kids that have now entered my life. The sheer number of kids I interact with doesn’t diminish the importance of one to me, but at times I find myself wondering is it worth caring so much? Why invest and pour your life out if it’s just going to be a painful good-bye in the end? God has been showing me how selfish I am... not fun or easy, but I know it’s a lesson I need to work on. He Himself gave all, so why am I worried if it will cause me heartache in the end? Why do I find myself even considering walling off my heart to somehow make it easier? My prayer is that God will fill me with His love to pour out endlessly to these kids, then trust Him enough to carry me through these difficult good-byes, knowing that He is able to carry these precious children. May God give me the courage to love extravagantly.
On a happier note, every once in a while we have our usual Thursday evening worship service out on the dock and invite all of our wonderful Day Workers and any of the patients who are able to come outside. Here in Guinea our dock space is unusually tiny, yet we were still able to make space for a cook-out meal, and enough room to dance. I wish I had a number of how many people were out there praising Jesus tonight, but it was hundreds. Times like this make me so anxious for heaven.. when truly EVERY tribe, tongue, and nation are worshiping before the throne. My mind can't even imagine what that is like, but tonight I have seen a glimpse, and I'm hungry for more.
The little boy that I shared about weeks ago with the horribly deformed legs was out on the dock tonight. He had been looking forward to it all day, and the look of excitement in his eyes as he went out to the dock to celebrate was unforgettable. He’s in short leg casts now, and gets around with crutches, or his new favorite mode of transportation, a tricycle, that he races around on when he wants to get out of exercising or just wants to get places quickly. His english has advanced incredibly in these past few months, and he enjoys my attempts at learning French and Susu.
I have seen him blossom in confidence over these past few months, and can see the difference that extravagant love and Love Himself can make in a person's life. So for the sake of even just one more, I want to carry on no matter the cost.
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